The Thing I Carry

From a thousand miles across US, I brought this blanket with me. Together we flew for 15 hours and arrived at Porter’s. When I packed my things, mom once said to me, the distance between America and home is far, so is she and me. She hoped the blanket which is the closest thing in my life can help me get over the problems just like she is with me.

The blanket is fabricated carefully by the women in China. It is brown and fluffy, for I owned it for nearly 7 years. My mother gave me the blanket when I was 8 years old. Every night, she would come to my room in the midnight and check if I was covered by the blanket. But every time she left with disappoint. She gave me that for keeping warm, but I would always knead it and hug it tight in my elbows when I was asleep. My mother even had to get another blanket for me then. I hugged it and rubbed it in my face, smelling the special fragrance of home. Every time I did that, it reminded me of the wonderful childhood that I used to have and gave me the sense of safety. Sometimes I buried my head in the blanket so I could escape from the worries I had and stay in the dark think about whatever I like to imagine.

When I was in fifth grade, I depended on my parents with everything. I never went to school by myself although it is only 5 minutes’ walk. I begged my father to come with me every time and if he did not say yes, I would cry for a whole day and wait at home. I was not independent at all.

In 2006, when I was 11, I went to Australia by myself. I was homesick the first night. I never felt the feeling of missing home that strong.  When I went to bed and closed my eyes, I could not help to miss my parents, the Chinese food and even the cat I had. I grabbed the blanket and let myself soaked in its warm and soft body. Thinking about my future, my best childhood memory, it was like my parents was conciliating me, saying “You will be fine, my girl. Be brave. We will always stand by your side.”  I felt better and cried in its hug. With it by my side, I fell asleep. The next morning, I was amazed by what I did last night. I got over the homesick and fear with the help from the blanket. “Thank you.” I said to it.

It is also the best partner I have that can listen to my annoying complaining and smiling to me, tell me to calm down, be patient. Once I had a trouble with my friend, a misunderstanding, I nearly got crazy because I thought she did not know how much I did for her. I hit the pillow hardly, yelling at my build-a-bear. It lay in the bed silently, not saying anything. When I finished my abreaction, it looked at me and encouraged me to go out of the room and find a solution. It is always a good company around me. Now, I sometimes feel stressed out with my study because the language and vocabulary. I will punch the book, lose the confidence of myself and worry about my future. However, I still force myself to do the works even I hate it. This made me feel worse. But the blanket will tell me be patient as it always did. When I hug it, I could forget everything I get crazy about.

It traveled with me everywhere, and now, it is in US. I still hugged it every night and I will always do that. I am not sure if it is my parents or my friends. The thing I am sure is it will be my best partner forever.