All The Gifts You Have Given Me

The other night you told me you never wanted a child before you had me. Not because you didn't like children, but because you didn't want your child to go through all the pains in life. Yet I am the best gift you have ever received. With joys and love, you grew with me.

I didn't say much after hearing this because there were too much to say. I wanted to let you know that you do not owe me anything by bringing me to this world. On the contrary, you have given me so many gifts that I could not repay.

The very first gift you gave me is life. Although I could not go back to nothing once I was born, I was given the choice to live or to die. You brought me from nothing to something and I was given my existence. Whether I decide to live just for seconds or for years, I would be forever thankful for having been here.

The second gift you gave me is your companion. I was never alone since the moment of my birth because I had you. Our bloodline can never be cut by anything, and so I know whatever happens you would always be on my side. This is strength, from which my resilience and self-healing potential develop. The harsh reality you worry about would be defeated by your love, and you should have confidence in your care of me throughout the years. I have become a strong individual, and I have learnt to grow on my own.

The third gift you gave me is my understanding of me. Sometimes I think you know me better than I do myself. I break down frequently; I make myself aloof to things; I distance myself from others. These are the emotional traps I impose on myself without realising, but your eyes can catch the undistinguishable subtleness of my moods. The out-of-control guilt I feel afterwards swallows me, but your unconditional love stops my imagined hysteria.

I have always asked you for gifts, saying that you didn't buy me enough for my birthdays or other special days. It is a fulfilling asking - knowing how much love I have but wanting more. I wanted to let you know that you have given me more than enough, and I could flourish with all the gifts you have given me until I leave this world.

I wanted to let you know that I love you, to the bottom of the sea my love reaches and to the top of the sky my love goes. I love you like loving a part of me that I got to know again. Our love doesn't have a start or an end, for each of our encounterings is picking up where we have left, and each of our departings is for meeting again.