Insomnia

For mom:

I've never felt the night
so dark, the moon dissolves in my window.
Why is the sky no longer blue
and light can vanish like pooooop!

I sneak comfortably into my bed
sinking into my mattress, a different wrap
around my body air is my blanket,
soft linen is your touch slowly wiping my baby cheek,
your thumb sings a lullaby.

One two three enough
tears dropping, your eyes will be swollen.

Looking at you in your shadowed nightgown,
on the edge of the sink I sit.
No kindergarten please tomorrow.
Too many strangers, too many words
I don't understand

this world
too many contradictions day and night, dream
never so real when all connections break.
Mouths shut lights extinguished
things exit to cut the void.

But this I from my dream,
wish your hug is tighter, your lullaby sweeter.
All there all mine. And then -
I will not eat and I will not sleep.
I will inhale your breath like a pipe of opium,
until I can no longer distinguish you and recognize my reality.