Reminiscence I.

I

How can I think about the present without reminiscence
everything comes to an end
that I am so sure
but forever scared to recognize

the tree outside of the glass lounge
has turned brown from fresh green
dry leaves weak branches
shaking in the early autumn wind

I have witnessed the change
moving against
the unchanged
there, then
but I can’t
fight against
time and space

II

memory is a quirky thing
forever fragmented
as if needing one thread to
weave
the real and the illusionary
ephemerality

I can’t put
together all my shits
restore
the beautiful things

a trap
me
locked in one moment
mistakenly sinned in its existence
I can't
be free

III

if I have lost myself in preserving
the present past
the thought of losing
becomes a ghost chasing me
wake me up
time

tears
flashes
passes

IV

fearlessness
contradicts the awful truth
so blind me
lead me on
to this path of forever darkness

despair me of the future
with the end of
the dying tree
Assure me
of nothing.

The Embrace by Egon Schiele