Pittsburgh

I walked out with a black T-shirt and the wind blew. It is Pittsburgh's weather. This quiet city, with numerous churches around the corners, has a mild temperature and a just-right moisture. Houses are small and low. They are made of red bricks, and white sakura trees stood on both sides of the street. American towns are similar. Crimson and white, late autumn and the fog after the heavy rain. Our steps on the New England roads.

I remember the fog, observable at the top of the light house. When we went up, there remained nothing to see but only the white undistinguishable water fume and a unstoppable strong wind that brought the coldness through the small gap of the door that was not closed. Something you have never seen before, and it's totally opposite from my impression of New England, but it became yours. A photo on the steps at the bottom of the stairs, the last day of the visiting season, the closure of autumn.

I took a guess of the distance between the boat and the light house. It must be so long so that only an ungraspable light at night can touch. And on a foggy day, the covering up and the desire of telling, how they would contradict each other that the light might not even penetrate. So I wrote as if the boat can never arrive at the shore - I wrote as if you are at a far far far place I wrote, as if the sound of the words would dissolve before they can get heard. And that's enough - let them disappear on the way there, because eventually time and space absorb all beings. Do they matter?

But I can't help myself to wonder, what would happen if they reach the other end? What sound do they strike and how would they be used? The uncertainty of reaction and the light which the boat trusts, would they create a fake signal that steers the boat to another direction? Never answer, never answer, let it slip..

The blue totoro I bought (a blue one!), the vintage book I saw, and the joke of 'I quote hamlet, scene iii, line vi, no'... I turned around and only captured a familiar shadow and I smiled and and!, things don't have to be explicit, anymore.

Never trust a word I say, never trust a word I say.. This quiet city of Pittsburgh.