五月

忍不住要偷偷的把今天记录下来。

Woke up with a habitual annoyance that I wanted to slap someone so I went for a run. Today was hot, and I got a little dehydrated in the middle of the trail. Well, I sucked it up.

Then it got hotter. Spontaneously. The sun shined so hard and the wind was so strong in the afternoon. On pebbled streets, I stood. I looked at R in front of me, kneeling smiling. The light passed through her long hair and I concentrated. Pause.

This is the New England summer. It unexpectedly came, like always. The sun can burn, the flowers and grass' colors are so bright that they can hurt your eyes. And the air is dry and salty, brought by the dark blue water of the Charles river. Just one day can make you forget about the winter.

And I remember last year outside of my dorm on the grass, you were lying there in the midst of the heat. I went out for a run and the hot waves shook my body. Every pounding of my steps hit my head on my temple and that was why I ran the marathon. Then I counted how many times I would see you, and the conclusion was once every seven days. Then it was graduation and it terminated.

It was around the same time of the year when I had that reminiscence. Ever since then the smile I had has changed. My eyes changed. A part of me is discovered. I have so many ideas knocking on my head and all I have to do is to feel them intimately, then they become part of my words and part of me. The most beautiful is when the unconscious crosses the conscious. And today it happened.

When the light passed her long hair, I felt like I was there before. Standing exactly where I was, seeing exactly what I saw. R's smile has a certain power and I wouldn't have known how to take on this pilgrimage if it was not there. I stared into the camera and I was shocked by myself, very. I felt the sensations of the lens and I was able to communicate: That grass that summer heat and that idea of the marathon.

I am very grateful for this summer day.