Music and Life.

Music is an interesting construction.

It builds an anticipation that can almost be detected by the unconsciousness, but it retains a sense of otherness that realizes itself with the imprint of time.

If painting is displaying an image at one glance, music is painting with the brush of time. In the horizontal progression of time (do not ask why horizontal for I feel like it), music is able to layer and circle through variations and repetitions, to finalize a creation.

This creation process involves the participation of the self. One can almost feel the happening of the next note, then it plays itself ahead of one's imagination by a 0.01 sec margin.

Emotions are triggered by this process. Almost all emotions, in life, are the result of fantasization, anticipation, realization, divergence. Then again and again. Volatility is the pursuit or thanotos and libido won't fight against each other to achieve liveliness.

Humans are built upon this, and without the self construction of emotions (a product that can only be created by the self), one does not live. I've come to reconcile with myself on this point.

Feeling is what one desires, and when one realizes such it becomes scary. But at the same time it brings more joy. Perhaps this is how libido can be born out of thanatos.

And things don't require a conclusion. In fact, the deadliness is created by concluding. The realization of the matter is the death of the matter. In this lens, hope is not the most horrible thing, it is the most beautiful thing - the melody of time.

The indulgence in music implies something, and that something can be horrifying. But it is the immersion of life. For so I live and breathe.